Bah! Humbug... (smile)

Well, there is a fine way to start, huh? Here I am, a born again Christian and it is time to celebrate the birth of my Lord, and I grumble? Well, more than ever before, I feel overwhelmed by the trappings of the season. Because of time considerations, we won't even have a tree this year! This is a first, and I feel somewhat guilty, but I just don't want to be a slave to customs that have not much to do with the real Christmas. I have no objections to those customs, but this year it's just not convenient!

Tomorrow Curtis leaves for California to help his mom get the escrow closed, get packed and moved here to Omaha. She will go to an independant living facility. He will be gone at least a week, and he will have his hands full.

I will be here with my adult children, one of whom is an autistic young man under great stress of some kind. He doesn't have the language abilities to tell me all that is disturbing him. My other adult child is a beautiful young lady who is afflicted by bulimia. Both are troubled and I can't reach them. I can love them, and I do! They know that. So I too will have my hands full.

Yesterday I had somewhat of an emotional meltdown, to the point that I went to bed praying I wouldn't wake up. Well, I did awaken, and somehow I felt a lot better! God's grace, for sure. I just need strength to go one day at a time. So far that strength has always been there. Note to self: be thankful for that daily dose of strength!

I dread Curtis leaving, and the transition of his mom becoming knit closer into our family unit. Yes, an autistic son, a bulimic daughter and a mother-in-law with beginning Alzheimer's! Just your typical American family -- lol. But I have faith that the strength I need will continue! God is good. He loves even me! And my disfunctional crew too.

As I type this I feel courage within. I'm not ready and eager for the future -- I face it with fear and trembling -- but I face it. Though my dreams are tossed and blown, I walk on with hope in my heart.

My weight this morning -- 112. Workouts on track -- last week I got 403 minutes, I think. My workouts continue to be a highlight of my day.

That's it for now! Merry Christmas, Judy -- you humbug little diva.