Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Bah! Humbug... (smile)

Well, there is a fine way to start, huh? Here I am, a born again Christian and it is time to celebrate the birth of my Lord, and I grumble? Well, more than ever before, I feel overwhelmed by the trappings of the season. Because of time considerations, we won't even have a tree this year! This is a first, and I feel somewhat guilty, but I just don't want to be a slave to customs that have not much to do with the real Christmas. I have no objections to those customs, but this year it's just not convenient!

Tomorrow Curtis leaves for California to help his mom get the escrow closed, get packed and moved here to Omaha. She will go to an independant living facility. He will be gone at least a week, and he will have his hands full.

I will be here with my adult children, one of whom is an autistic young man under great stress of some kind. He doesn't have the language abilities to tell me all that is disturbing him. My other adult child is a beautiful young lady who is afflicted by bulimia. Both are troubled and I can't reach them. I can love them, and I do! They know that. So I too will have my hands full.

Yesterday I had somewhat of an emotional meltdown, to the point that I went to bed praying I wouldn't wake up. Well, I did awaken, and somehow I felt a lot better! God's grace, for sure. I just need strength to go one day at a time. So far that strength has always been there. Note to self: be thankful for that daily dose of strength!

I dread Curtis leaving, and the transition of his mom becoming knit closer into our family unit. Yes, an autistic son, a bulimic daughter and a mother-in-law with beginning Alzheimer's! Just your typical American family -- lol. But I have faith that the strength I need will continue! God is good. He loves even me! And my disfunctional crew too.

As I type this I feel courage within. I'm not ready and eager for the future -- I face it with fear and trembling -- but I face it. Though my dreams are tossed and blown, I walk on with hope in my heart.

My weight this morning -- 112. Workouts on track -- last week I got 403 minutes, I think. My workouts continue to be a highlight of my day.

That's it for now! Merry Christmas, Judy -- you humbug little diva.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Blessed art me

Another Monday! But, in spite of being very tired, it was a successful weekend. I really was dreading all my "obligations" when I really wanted to get some rest. But you know, I was blessed by being around some special and caring people, and that restores the spirit more than lying around the house does! I'm so lucky to have so many people who care about me and our family.

Things are going well with the mother-in-law move, falling into place pretty well. It appears that she can get a guest room at the facility if her apartment isn't ready when she arrives. This is a great blessing, because we don't have the room to put her up here, and things are kind of volatile with my daughter anyway. We had thought she might need to stay at a hotel, but this will work out a lot better!

My weight this morning was 112 and I did 54 minutes of step aerobics.

Yes, there is the black cloud of my daughter's bulimia and the related behaviors. It hangs over me and pulls me down constantly. But again, there are people who care! There are circumstances that work themselves out! There are great workouts, and my 57 year old body is still fit. I have so much to be thankful for! The psalmist said "Why are you downcast, oh my soul?" I have to ask myself the same question. There are storm clouds, but there are also blessings.

I can smile and keep going!

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Sunday -- Family Follies

My weight was 113 this morning. I got up just past 4 to get my workout in, just like on any weekday morning. Our choir was scheduled to sing during both services today, and we have to be there at 8, so on Singing Sundays I don't get any extra sleep! I could have used some, but actually church was a great blessing to me today.

I did a "active rest" workout -- which just means that once a week, in order to give my body a bit of rest I do a beginner level workout. Today I did Hot Country Workout. All fiddles and aerobic moves disguised as country dance steps. It was fun, and it has an anaerobic segment that really skyrockets the heartrate, beginner or not! 40 minutes.

It's very cold here today, but supposed to warm up this week, I think. Every warm day is a blessing in December!

The whole "Move the Mother-in-law Caper" is looming large! We went and priced furniture for her this afternoon. We were pleased with what we found, and we think she will enjoy it. The best part was that we had a nice time together -- Curtis, Brian and me. Laura chose not to go, and probably hit the store for binge stuff while we were gone, because I haven't seen her. Too bad... But the 3 of us had a good time anyway.

Tonight we plan to watch Jim Carey as the Grinch. Family movie night! We used to do it regularly. I hope it comes off.

And I hope to get to bed early! One can always hope...

Saturday, December 2, 2006

A Blast from the (recent) past...

I'm copying from the previous version of my blog a post I did last week. I just wanted to include it here for reference purposes.

Monday, November 27, 2006
Super workout! And more family issues...
Well, this morning I got up at 4 -- as usual -- after a restless night. I weighed myself and was back to 112. Yippee -- I did take it easy yesterday! It's good to see the scale respond.

Then I worked out. I did PK Step, a new step workout by Petra Kolber. It was only my 2nd time doing it, and it is in real danger of becoming a favorite! The steps are so much fun! It's somewhat complex, but I was still able to get it pretty well the first time I did it. Today I worked up a great sweat and my hair was dripping when I got done! That pretty much hits my definition of a great cardio workout. 56 minutes -- great way to start a Monday!

So why did I have a restless night, you ask! Well, I'll tell you. My daughter's eating disorder/DUI stuff is not the only issue my family has right now! It's been the one closest to my heart. But the other one that's starting to get pretty heavy is my mother-in-law.

Curtis is her only family. She lives in California and we live in Nebraska, and she now has mild dementia. So she finally agreed to sell her house in California and will be moving here into an independent living facility. She is still able to take care of her needs, though we don't know how long that will last.

So the house sold after several months on the market, and will close mid-December. At that point, Curtis will have to go out there and assist her with closing and packing, etc. Then somehow we have to get her here and into the facility. Getting her on a plane may be a challenge, let alone acclimated into a new living situation in blustery Nebraska!

This has pretty much been driving Curtis nuts for quite awhile now. I haven't been much help because I've been preoccupied with Laura, and he hasn't been able to help much with her because he's so tied up with his mom. But anyway, thinking about all the mechanics of getting her here was what my mind kept going over and over last night! Well, at least there's an end in sight.

And then there is our son. Brian is mildly autistic, and is the sweetest person in the world. He is at times bothered about various things, and because of his autism he can't really discuss his concerns much. He's on medicaid, so I know we can get him some help. It's just finding the time to address his concerns! There doesn't appear to be any problem that needs to be addressed immediately -- at least, we hope that's the case.

Other than that, life is peachy keen and is a bed of roses! Well, I still choose to get up, smile and hope for the best each day. I've lived long enough to know there are mountains and valleys, and this valley is maybe the deepest I've seen.

That's why I would never give up my workouts! At least my day starts on a positive note. Just a little burst of sunshine is enough to keep you going at times like these!
**** End of paste

Those last 2 paragraphs are so very true! Amen to that...

A Diva's Pity Party

Well first of all my weight was 114 this morning. And I probably deserve it! I was a little careless a couple of days ago.

The funny part is that until last summer, I kept my weight in the 115-117 range. If I got above 117 I would kick up my efforts, though it didn't happen often! But for the past few months it's been staying around 112-113, and I like it there. So I think kicking up my effort would be a good thing. Make 115 the new panic button maybe!

Great workout today -- 75 minutes. I did 30 minutes of Turbo Jam Fat Blaster, which is an aerobic/anaerobic interval kickbox workout. My heartrate really got up there! And then I did one of the older Firms -- Maximum Body Sculpting, I think it's called. Everything felt great.

My knees are a little tight today. What a pain!!

Usually on the LAWLS site I start a new Exercise thread the first of each month. I have decided not to do that anymore. I had hoped to inspire others who maybe have a tough time motivating themselves to exercise, but I think the ones who need the motivation probably don't even read the post! I can't blame them -- I probably wouldn't either. There are a few people who read and respond, but they are the ones who work out regularly anyway, so they don't need my 2 cents!

Besides, I'm older than most, so I don't think that many people are interested in what I have to say. Although, certainly a few are! I have been successful at keeping my weight off, so I think I get points for that, but otherwise I'm pretty boring I guess! Ah, well, nothing like a little pity party. Best to do it here and get it out of my system!

Well, okay! I did start off with a good workout. And I get to get my hair cut a little later on, so I won't look so much like a shaggy puppydog! So I think the best thing for me to do now is to end the party, put a smile on my face and go forth! There is lots of important stuff to deal with, too much fun still to be had (even with tight knees) and life is way to short and precious to spend much of it wallowing around in self-pity.

Pity party over! Watch out, world. :-)

Friday, December 1, 2006

Back to square one!!

Probably due to a computer problem I had at work, I couldn't access my original blog. It got flagged as possible spam! And since I had not so much as a single link on it, I suppose that my computer was sending out distress signals of some kind. That's what I get for getting into my blog whan I should have been working!

Sometimes you just have to start over again. After trying to resolve it all week, I have decided to just do it again. Let's see if this one works! I do hope it will.

My workouts have been great this week. I did a step aerobics routine this morning that I have not done in many months -- it was almost like brand new to me. It's called Hot Steps, and the footwork is moderately complex. Sometime last winter, I managed to trip over my step doing this routine and I hurt my back! I had to ease off everything for awhile. I did it a time or 2 more, but then I kind of retired it. This morning I pulled it out just for a change and I truly enjoyed it, so it will be getting some more use. My heart rate was quite high.

Weight this morning was 113. I did a bit of nibbling yesterday, so Judy, stop that! You know where that leads.

Curtis had a fender bender Tuesday. No big deal, I guess, but on top of everything else, I am pretty well at my wits end. And here it is the weekend, but I'm on call for work and we will have to go look for furniture for his mom's place she will be moving into in the next month. She isn't bringing any of her furniture from California -- it will be cheaper to buy new stuff for her much smaller place. So it doesn't look like it's going to be a restful weekend at all!

However, the last 2 nights I have slept very well. And Laura seems to be holding steady. So, I'll just keep on putting one foot in front of the other -- eventually we'll find an even keel!